When

When did I start, to break someone’s heart?
Someone who felt it was worth?
Enduring pain for my birth,
Who shared all of my fears?
Throughout all the years,
And prayed day and night, never ceasing to fight,
Never ceasing to fight, for my peace.

If I could return to when, would I begin again?
To try to taste to see, how anxious would I be?
To cheat to steal to lie, even take the risk to die,
To prove that I belong?
When deep down in my heart, right from the very start,
I knew it was all wrong.

My mind, my heart, my soul,
Are now out of control,
I must, I can, I will, I have to reach,
The poison, that will bring a moment’s thrill,
As evil lying spirits mockingly,
Enjoy my agony insanity,
Who will deliver me?
Romans: 7/25

“Be inspired, be blessed”

The Master’s Pen

© The National Library of Congress

Christopher’s Song

I wish I could say that I am sorry,
For the pain you are feeling now,
I could heal your broken heart,
If I made a brand new start,
But I’ve always been too late somehow.
I wish I could say I am sorry.

I wish I could send you a letter,
But even if, these lifeless hands, could hold a pen,
No words could convey, or bring back yesterday,
So that I could say I am sorry.

Somewhere my will to fight and to do what was right,
Was lost in a crowd of friends,
And now it is too late, I have chosen my fate,
In this moment my short life ends.
I wish I could say I am sorry.

“Be inspired, be blessed”

The Master’s Pen

© The National Library of Congress

I Am Just A Baby Too

Someone please help me, I know not what to do,
You must understand, I am just a baby too.
I know I was warned what could happen to me,
But I felt I could avoid this tragedy,
I am just a child and I am so afraid,
For my moment of passion, this price I have paid,
Now I have received for what I have done,
This innocent baby my precious one.

Was I just weak, or inclined to be wild?
I never dreamt I would have a child,
Now all of my peers are enjoying their lives,
Speaking of children when they become wives.
I still have the dolls with which I would play,
When did I leave them and go astray?
Now I have a baby and I feel so alone,
I wish I had waited until I was grown.

No more can I go and have fun with my friends,
There is so much to do before the day ends,
At times I just want to run away,
But I have no choice I just have to stay.
This innocent child has become a part of my life,
My world is filled with confusion and strife,
The fact that I am young, fills my heart with fears,
Now my eyes are always filled with tears.

I weep for my child and I weep for me,
While I try so hard to act nonchalantly,
I really know nothing about being a Mom,
But somehow this is what I have become.
Somehow I feel much older than my peers,
It seems that I have lost so many years,
I wish I could return to being young and free,
For in my heart I know I am still a baby.

“Be inspired, be blessed”

The Master’s Pen

A Knock On My Door

A pain in my heart which seeped through my soul,
Wretched, tortuous agony,
A prayer that I surface from this deep dark hole,
From this hellish misery.

Oh my God! Oh no! Tell me it is not so,
Someone made a big mistake!
Holy Spirit! Oh Jesus! Oh God! Let me know,
It’s a bad dream from which I will awake.

My Christopher! My love! My precious grandson!
God’s blessed gift to me,
He was weak, he was strong, he was life, he was love,
He was gifted to be able to see.

Deeper than most, into the good things of life,
And into hellish evil too,
He would battle each day with inward strife,
Believing  that God would see him through.

But now there came a knock on my door,
And all of a sudden I knew,
His spirit was willing, but his flesh was weak,
Yet I know!  God has seen him through.

To a “better place,” where he said he would go,
Where no evil spirit or foe,
Could cause him to suffer anymore,
Through the valleys he walked below.

For now he walks on pastures green,
Beside a crystal sea,
Where one day soon, with him I will share,
Blessed eternity.

Be inspired, be blessed
The Master’s Pen

“My Spirit Speaks” By: The Master’s Pen

The Master's Pen - My Spirit Speaks

This is a book about suicide.

CHRISTOPHER’S SONG

I wish I could say that I am sorry
For the pain you are feeling now
I could heal your broken heart
If I made a brand new start
But I’ve always been to late somehow
I wish I could say I’m sorry
I wish I could send you a letter
But even if these lifeless hands could hold a pen
No words could convey or bring back yesterday
So that I could say I’m sorry
Somewhere my will to fight and to do what was right
Was lost in a crowd of friends
And now it is too late I have chosen my fate
In this moment my short life ends.

“Be inspired, be blessed”
the Master’s Pen

“Christ shall be magnified in my body,
whether it be by life or by death”
Phillipians 1:20b